


Bobby and the Humans

by airamadiranika



Category: iKON (Korea Band)
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2019-06-10
Updated: 2019-06-10
Packaged: 2020-04-23 23:05:37
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 2
Words: 1,430
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/19160839
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/airamadiranika/pseuds/airamadiranika
Summary: Bobby is the alien and he finds humans weird





	1. Introduction

**Author's Note:**

> My boredom brought me back to the "Humans are weird" threads and I found myself imagining Bobby as an alien and the rest of iKON as humans. I thought I would like to add some short drabbles inspired from the posts I read in tumbler and other social media accounts. I've stopped writing for the longest time and it would be nice to ease slowly into it with these drabbles.

Let's imagine that NASA has been communicating with other life forms from different planets and galaxies and kept it hidden through the years. They have just recently sent a petition to be part of the Universal Intergalactic Alliance (UIA) and as part of protocol, extraterrestrials (from hereon will be referred to as ETs) were to visit earth and research on the life forms on our planet. This is to assess if we are a potential threat to the peace of the universe and if we are worthy to be part of the alliance.

 

Planet iKON, billions and billions of light years away from earth, is home to humanoid ikonics who are considered some of the most intelligent and most advanced life forms in the universe. Their breed is regarded as one of the most peaceful species. As such, one of their kind was chosen by the alliance as part of the research team to be sent to earth. His native name is "Iknoic" but was given the human alias "Bobby".

 

Yunhyeong, a NASA scientist, was assigned to supervise him on earth. He has two flat mates, Hanbin and Junhoe, who are privy to the whole NASA project. Hanbin is a surgeon and Junhoe a gym owner. 


	2. Coffee is Poison

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> The first time Hanbin and Junhoe met Bobby, they nearly killed him.

A cup of coffee is the only thing that can magically turn a grumpy single guy into the sweetest thing ever. At least, that's the case for Hanbin and Junhoe. They were silently waiting for the coffee machine to brew their first morning cup when Yunhyeong came in all jittery with a smile that got the two caffeine-deprived humans groaning.

"Wipe that shit out of your face or I'll do it for you." Junhoe's voice threatened, his voice still gravelly after waking up.

"What"? Yunhyeong asked, beaming from ear to ear.

"How dare you look so alive at this ungodly hour?" Hanbin whined, eyes still half closed.

Yunhyeong chuckled. "It's 8 in the morning, idiots. I was hoping to arrive here after you both had your morning fix. But alas."

"Seriously hyung, your voice is scratching my ears and it's making me uncomfortable." Hanbin dragged a stool from under the table and tried to sit on it without falling.

Junhoe yawned, rubbing the sleep off his eyes. "Yeah hyung, shut up."

Yunhyeong clicked his tongue. "That's not a nice attitude to show to a visitor." He shakes his head and looked pointedly at Junhoe who rolled his eyes. Hanbin still had his eyes half open, his head hanging limp to the side while he tried to sit upright, leaning on the kitchen table.

"Trust you to bring someone this early", it was Hanbin.

"Yeah!" Yunhyeong exclaimed excitedly. "His name is Bobby from iKON--"

"Hello Bobby, you're allowed to leave now." Hanbin cut-off, not looking at the new comer.

"Hello Hanbin. Where would you want me to go?" A deep voice replied.

Hanbin tried to open his right eye, tilting his head upwards to look at the person "What?" he asked, confused.

"I said--" Bobby was about to repeat when the coffee maker finally beeped, eliciting a reaction from two sleepy humans.

"Fucking finally!" Junhoe exclaimed, too loudly in the morning hour.

Bobby who has been observing the humans suddenly hid behind Yunhyeong after Junhoe's outburst.

"Sorry about that, Bobby. Junhoe has always been loud." Yunhyeong whispered, noticing Bobby's tight grip on his jacket.

"I-Is he okay?" Bobby asked, whispering softly.

Yunhyeong chuckled while shaking his head. _This is going to be real fun_ , he thought. "Doesn't look like it, but he sure is."

Junhoe and Hanbin crowded infront of the machine, each holding a huge mug. The air was filled with a bitter earthy smell as Junhoe poured the dark liquid into his cup and then Hanbin's. His lips quivered from excitement as they touched the edge of the cup --

"WHAT THE HELL!?" Junhoe shouted.

"AAARAFAFKJSLJSDLKDFSL!!!!" Hanbin incomprehensibly gurgled.

"Oh dear." Yunhyeong exclaimed, shocked.

"Are you both okay?" Bobby asked, frantic.

Bobby looked at Junhoe then at Hanbin as he scanned the two frozen humans whose eyes had gone from half open to wide open at once.

Junhoe blinked once then twice, his mouth opening and closing as he stared incredulously at Bobby. "Why the fuck did you grab my cup and threw it on the goddamn floor!?" he finally said, shouting at the top of his voice.

Hanbin suddenly lunged at Bobby. "I AM GOING TO KILL YOU!"

Hanbin proceeded to choke Bobby. Yunhyeong yelped and scrambled towards the scene.

"Stop Hanbin! You're going to kill him!" Yunhyeong tried to remove Hanbin's hand choking the poor alien's neck.

"That's what I said!!!" Hanbin screamed back, face red with anger.

Junhoe, snapping out of his initial shock, readied to lunge at Hanbin as well when Yunhyeong pushed him aside. He slipped from the spilled coffee with a sharp cry as his side hit the floor. Yunhyeong then proceeded to pull on Hanbin's arms whose crazed eyes were looking murderously at Bobby. The poor creature had his eyes bulging out of their sockets as his neck and face started to turn green.

"Hanbin, you better fucking stop this minute!" He gritted his teeth. "He's an ET for fuck's sake!"

"He's a what!?"

Junhoe looked up from the floor. Hanbin froze, his fingers still gripping Bobby's neck.

"Hanbin, I said let go!" Yun took advantage of the frozen state of his flatmate and forcefully pried Hanbin's fingers from their tight grip. Bobby wheezed as he took in a deep breath.

"I don't want to be thrown in space." Junhoe sat up, wincing as he tried lifting his body using his right arm. "And I think you broke something here, Yun"

Hanbin can feel his adrenaline slowly seeping out of his system. "I-i'm sorry" he stuttered.

He was about to sit on the floor when Bobby pushed him. "Ouch!" He grimaced as he massaged his left butt. "Okay, I deserve that."

"You nearly touched the poison!" Bobby rasped, his voice rough from the attack. 

"The what?" Hanbin asked, confused.

Bobby pointed at the coffee spilled on the floor. "It contains caffeine, a deadly chemical that can wipe out half of the universe."

Hanbin blinked. Junhoe's mouth slacked open. Yunhyeong released a silent "Oh".

"Somebody is trying to kill you." Bobby solemnly whispered, eyes widely staring at Hanbin.

Hanbin's brows furrowed. "What?"

"They put caffeine in your drink! They were going to poison you! Did you not smell it?"

Hanbin looked more confused now, his still sleepy brain not able to comprehend what was happening.

"Why are they trying to assassinate you?" Bobby continued to ask. He stood up and paced back and forth, clearly avoiding the spilled brown liquid on the floor.

"Bobby." Hanbin said, reaching out tentatively towards the ET. "It's Bobby, right?" Hanbin asked Yunhyeong. The latter nodded.

"Bobby, that's coffee."

"Yes. I have surmised that's what you call it." Bobby answered, stopping infront of Hanbin.

"We drink it." Hanbin stated slowly.

Bobby shook his head vigorously. "No. It's poison."

"No." Hanbin stood up. "We drink it. It gives us energy."

"No. It kills species." Bobby said adamantly.

"Bobby, here on earth, we drink it. It does not kill us." Yunhyeong said.

"So you're saying that this coffee is not poisonous to humans?" Bobby asked cautiously.

The three nodded. Bobby looked at them, as if waiting for an answer.

The three nodded again.

Bobby's eyebrows furrowed. 

"Yes. It's not." Hanbin answered when he realized that Bobby clearly does not understand human body language.

"This coffee can wipe out half of the universe but actually gives humans energy?"

"Yes."

Bobby nods, horror etched on his features.

"And that you kill for it when they try to take it from you?" He whispered, clearly uncomfortable now.

Yunhyeong cleared his throat. "No, not necessarily. That's just Hanbin and Junhoe when they are sleep deprived and badly need a boost."

Bobby's mouth made an "O" form as comprehension dawned on him.

"So you turn into killing machines when your circadian rythm is off?"

"Circus what?" Junhoe asked, baffled.

"Circadian rythm. Sleep/wake cycle." Hanbin explained to Junhoe.

"We don't turn into killing machines. Our brains just haywire when we lack sleep and are under stress. Coffee always rewires our brain to function more properly in the morning." Yunhyeong said.

"I see. So this coffee, it is safe?" Bobby asked again.

"To humans, yes. Do not worry about it." 

"This is noted human Yunhyeong." Bobby answered, mentally taking note of how the circadian rhythm of humans should not be disturbed. If so, a hefty serving of coffee poison is needed. 


End file.
